I have been confronted lately with the realization of how I can play games with God. Sharon wrote in our last update how a good apartment came along and we felt that God was telling us to give it to the other couple on the team. Since then I have a new found, though inconsistent, sense of justice that keeps growing everyday. Let me explain, you see when I do something wrong and my sin surfaces, I rely on the fact that we do not have a contractual relationship with God. Namely, that He does not treat us as our sin deserves, but is patient and full of grace. This is a truth that I would die for. However, contradiction has surfaced yet again in my life and I have had thoughts that God should reward us for thinking of the others on our team instead of ourselves. This is also known as a contractual relationship. So when things are in my benefit I find myself wanting a contractual God who treats me as I deserve.
Truly though I praise God that He loves us unconditionally, despite my inconsistencies.
So will we find a sweet apartment? I am not sure. I know that God does not owe us one. He is good however and loves to give good gifts to His children. But sometimes these good gifts are not always the “blessings” we think they should be. Sometimes they come wrapped in frustration or pain and they do not seem good until years later.
We are praying for a good apartment where we can feel at home though.